As 2010 slowly becomes an old acquaintance and 2011 is getting bundled to be left on our doorstep I find myself stuck in the inbetween trying to assess why I find myself in a funk about the change to the year born anew.
It could have been my lack of soda. It could be a long stressing holiday season in a job that keeps incessant demands of my services with no reward for my efforts. It could be the two years without taking a vacation straining on my need to be a wanderer. It could be the unbreakable lock that Wisconsin winter throws on our cabin door inducing a deeper fever.
I look at my list of things I’d love to change and accomplishments I want to make sure I acheive and it’s an imposing task. I’m more afraid of failure than anything and it’s that fear of making the change that seems to be keeping me from taking the risk and making what is definitely a necessary change. Track record shows me that I have typically succeeded at my endeavors but it’s been a while since I let this train change it’s track.
Becoming a father for a second time is weighing against these decisions, vesting in my curent employer is another weighing against making these changes. If only foresight had the same 20/20 vision that hindsight sees so clearly.
I’ve taken strides to aking sure these new ventures begin to take shape. I’ve opened up socially more than I had before using the power of networking to just make acquaintence. I know where my talents lay and now it is just a matter of making them bear fruit and finding something that uses these talents I’m rife with and allows me to make not only a living but to cultivate a happiness that lacks where I am currently. Most of my life pieces are in place and with the change of just a few more and the nuturing of other dreams, I’l; be on a course I should have steered towards earlier. As long as there is breath on my body, it’s never too late to shoot for our desires and make the most of our short lives.